Chapter 764: Thera's Perspective
From the gate network to her family home, to her uncle's shop and from there the newest of Ben’s research areas, Thera found her uncle Ogilt exactly where she’d left him, sitting in a building filled with the trapped demons Ben was experimenting on the souls of.
The only real difference to be had was that there were more things around than when she’d last been there. It was obvious that Ben must have felt some guilt about leaving the great space spirit alone to stand guard for a few weeks and had tried to remedy that by leaving books and games and films to be enjoyed, with not a single one looking like they’d been touched since whenever they’d been created.
Despite that, the great spirit wasn’t entirely unresponsive and at least took notice of her arrival, lifting his head in acknowledgement of her presence.
“Ah, hello, my… niece?”
“Hello to you as well, uncle,” She greeted in return with a gentle nod. “Have you been well?”
“As you can see.”
That wasn’t an answer but she chose not to call him on that, instead looking around a bit to try and make it seem like what she was about to tell him wasn’t immediately obvious.
“You haven’t touched any of the entertainment Ben left you, have you?”
“I haven’t felt the need.”
“It could help you pass the time.”“It will go by whether I spend it doing anything or not.”
“Sure, but it will be a lot more pleasant than sitting doing nothing.”
“...What would you like, Theta? I know you aren’t here just to say hello.”
“It’s Thera, and one of the space spirits is worried about you. Probably a lot more too. They asked me to talk to you.”
“Then we’ve spoken and there’s nothing else to say. You don’t need to force yourself, I know you have no desire to and I don’t blame you.”
Her mind flashed to how she’d voiced her own conflicting feelings about the new great spirit when they’d set up for Ben’s experiments and immediately regretted it. Whatever the truth may have been, it wasn’t going to make things any easier on her as she tried to go on.
“Uncle, you know the space spirits need you. The great ones too. When my father spoke to me growing up and told me about both you and the time spirits as well, he’d always longed to see you all again. One group may be lost to us because of the choice they’d made but you're here and that means something to them.”
“Then you don’t need to worry, I shall not be taking the easy way out to free me of my guilt, they will have me forever more.”
“Not if you hide away from them all. They care about you, Ogilt, they see what you’re going through and they’re worried about you.”
“...I see. I know you’re right of course, bar a few obvious exceptions, so for their sake perhaps I should reconsider my position.”
“You’ll talk to them?” She asked, hopeful that things really would be that easy and immediately being betrayed for it.
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“I’ll end this existence once I’m done assisting your companion. It would allow a new great spirit to be born in my place, free of the guilt my existence brought this universe and would let the rest move on. If I look at it from the perspective of granting them some peace then the choice becomes something I can let myself get away with.”
“Absolutely not,” She told him, pinching her brow while trying to figure out just what to say. “You know that wouldn’t make things better for anyone, you have to know that.”
“Then alas, I am back to suffering through the fact that is my own existence. I understand why you’re here, Thera, but there's nothing to be said to change how I feel.”
“If you don’t give people the chance to try there never will be.”
“The chance?” He laughed for the first time, coming out as a hollow, empty thing. “I know that the gods of this world and the few others who are aware of me are keeping my involvement in what happened a secret to prevent anyone from reacting violently in such a difficult time. How am I supposed to do anything in a world that will never forgive me? Who am I supposed to give the chance?”
“I forgive you.”
“...You don’t even know what that means. I mean no offense, child of Abrus, but you are mortal. You can’t understand the scale nor weight of my sin.”
“I don’t need to understand, it doesn’t matter. You think nobody in the world can forgive whatever part you played in all of this? Well here I am, right in front of you to say that for whatever happened, whatever guilt you feel, I forgive you.”
“...It still doesn’t matter,” He said after a pause, looking away. “I won’t be forgiving myself, nor do I want to. Now please, just leave.”
He retreated into himself, making it clear he wanted to end things there and without any idea what else to say, Thera started talking.
“Uncle, I know it's not the same, but… I didn’t enjoy life when I was younger. I know I had some privileges that others didn’t but as the first half spirit in existence and a half succubus at that, well I’d been feared or hated by a lot of people for as long as I can remember and I didn’t think it would ever get better, right up until I woke up one day and realized that it had. I managed to find people who accept me and right now, you have people who accept you too, even if you feel too guilty to want to see it so please, I know there’s no easy way to feel better about what you’ve been through and how you’ve been used but for the sake of my father and the space spirits and anyone else who does very much care about you, just try to at least see that they’re so happy to have you back.”
She got no answer and seeing the conversation was done she let out a small breath before quietly leaving, giving the spirit his peace while hoping that maybe a little of what she’d said had got through to him before returning home.
Between the unexpected battle that had ended with her getting far more levels than she’d expected and the meeting with her uncle, Thera still got back home far sooner than she’d planned, having the time to relax she’d so badly wanted but finding the last conversation had left her listless.
She didn’t know if she’d gotten through to her uncle at all and she doubted there was anything else she could have said but the fact was that a space spirit had asked for help and that she’d failed so thoroughly ate at her. No matter the complicated feelings, she’d accepted herself as an important figure to them and she cared about them as a whole, she didn’t want to let them down when she was sure the space spirits in their entirety needed just as much help. Help that should have been coming from their great one.
“I’ll have to talk to him again,” She muttered to herself. “Give him a bit of time… How much time do you give an immortal? Day? Years?”
It was as she was questioning just when she should try again that her train of thought was broken by a knock on the door, leaving her to question if she wanted to bother with whoever was waiting before letting herself hope it might be someone who could brighten her mood. Sachel or Aso stopping by or maybe her uncle coming for a visit, none of them being the answer as the one she saw hit her like a brick.
On the other side of the door was her least favourite aunt, the great life spirit Vividus, but while she was the most obvious to see and immediately brought all sorts of swear words to the tip of Thera’s lips, who she was with managed to silence her.
By all accounts looking as if she was standing beside the ghost of an incubus child, the youth’s ethereal form was so much denser than any specter she’d seen in the past, speaking of something far more powerful while whatever connection Thera held with her paternal race told her it was something so much more. What she was seeing was no dead child that had ended up bound to the world but instead a spirit, the likes of which she’d never seen before.