I Don’t Want To Be An Ojakgyo

"Even if I have to undergo horrible torture, if I could become your queen then that would be my, and my family's honor."

My heart hurt at Hestia's words.

Hylli ground his teeth as he glared down at Hestia's quietly speaking form.

"……never mind. I'll do it alone."

As Hylli turned around to leave right then, Hestia sighed in relief before hurriedly looking back down when he suddenly turned around.

"Was it Shuraina? The name of your friend."

Hylli, who had suddenly stopped, spoke once again.

"She keeps on sticking by my side–you should check on her behavior. If you don't want to see your friend in two pieces, I mean."

And with that, Hylli once again turned around and walked away from Hestia.

Once Hestia checked that Hylli had left, she sighed and leaned on the wall of the academy building.

"Kyaaaaaa, Hestia! Hestia!"

Hestia kept sighing to herself when a girl ran towards Hestia from the area Hylli left. Her sharp voice made Hestia frown.

"Oh my goodness, Hestia!"

Hestia looked up to watch the girl run towards her.

The girl who was running looked familiar.

She had orange hair and crimson eyes.

Yes. It was me.

"Kyaaaa, I just bumped into his royal highness! Wow! Seriously! His gaze towards me was just burning hot, you know?"

The girl with my face squealed with enamored eyes.

What the hell is she?

"Aaaah, Sir Hylli~ He really looked like a prince from a fairy tale."

Hestia listened to the orange haired girl, me from the original novel, with one ear and let it out the other.

Dream me smiled like a pervert as she giggled.

"Sir Hylli's gaze was so hot, does he like me too? Kyaaa! What should I do!"

I immediately woke up.

My hands shook. My legs shook too.

Shame enveloped me as I remembered me and my shameful actions in my dream. The orange haired girl that I kept seeing in my dream lingered in my mind.

What did I say again. I smiled like a pervert, seconds away from drooling, as I talked about Hylli and blah blah blah.

In the original novel, 'Shuraina' was a gossipy character who liked to lead the charge with a high self-esteem.

I was incredibly used to my orange hair and crimson eyes because I had been born as Shuraina and gained memories of my previous life during my childhood. That was why the original novel's 'Shuraina' just felt incredibly unfamiliar to me.

If the memories of my past life didn't return, would I have become the same as that girl in the dream?

The girl and I looked identical to each other, but I couldn't accept that I held even a fraction of likeness to the girl I saw in my dream.

Sure, I liked princes and ponies when I was little, but I didn't have an outgoing personality like that child.

Man, I didn't know. I was incredibly young when I remembered my past life, so I didn't remember too much about it.

Shushu, it's okay. Everyone has something like an ant tunnel or something in their personalities. Hylli was cute and kind but he also had that cringey part of him in his personality too. It was the same for me too.

I tried my best to accept my shocking self in my dream and massaged my temples.

My daily life didn't change much because of my weird dreams. Today was club day, so I grabbed my bag and headed to the club room.

I walked past a familiar hallway and grabbed the handle of my club door. For the clubs with high performance rates, each of them received a gold-plated door plate on their doors. I proudly looked at the gold door plate labelled Magic Circle Manipulation Club before heading in the club.

When I walked in, Cory was already in the room.

Cory glanced at me when I entered the room and gave me a short but warm greeting.

I was happy to see real life Cory after seeing the lifeless Cory in my dreams. Real life Cory seemed a lot more relaxed and alive compared to dream Cory. He also seemed to be genuinely enjoying what he did, too.

Cory greeted me briefly before reading his book, but soon looked surprised as he looked at me again.

"Shushu, are you okay?"

Cory had been lying down to read his book. He stood up and walked towards me.

"Have you been having a hard time sleeping these days? You look really rough."

Cory worried about me as he told me that my dark circles were down to my chin. At his worried expression, I looked towards the nearest mirror to look at myself.

Just like Cory said, my current state wasn't a joke. The skin under my eyes were dark and sunken in from my dark circles, and both my hair and skin were completely dry. My lips were so dry that it made me look sick. I could see why Cory was worried.

Sleep wasn't the problem: I slept whenever I could. The miserable part about my situation was that I was sleeping too much. I ended up falling into that dream whenever I slept, but that completely exhausted me. I thought this was happening because of the black magic incident, but Cory would worry too much if I told him that. I lied and told him that I couldn't sleep because of a fun novel that I was reading these days.

At my lie, Cory narrowed his eyes in disbelief. I grabbed a romance novel that Isabel lent me from my bag and showed it to him. Cory asked if it was the same book that I had gotten to read months before, so I just lied and said that I was rereading it.

"….has anything changed after the black magic incident?"

"I don't think so."

Cory kept looking here and there to check. He pulled me down onto the sofa and took off the blanket around his shoulders to put on me.

"Hurry and go to sleep."

"….I don't wanna sleep."

If I fell asleep here, then I would dream that dream. I was scared of dreaming and meeting that orange haired girl again. She and I were obviously different, but she was still 'me'. So whenever I saw her strange, uncomfortable behaviors, it made me feel ashamed.

Cory dragged a chair near the sofaI was lying on.

When I stared at Cory after telling him I didn't want to sleep, Cory just wordlessly stared back.

As we continued to stare at each other, I struck up a conversation after remembering something.

"Cory, I have something I want to ask."

Cory quietly nodded at my words. What do you want to know? Cory asked. I continued.

"You like me a lot, right."

"Huh?"

Cory looked taken aback at my words. His eyes were wide as he thought about something to himself. He wiped the expression off of his face. His ears reddened.

"Aaah. Well, yeah. I'm your fan."

Cory nodded acceptingly and brushed my messy hair back.

"How did you learn about Shunivalen? I wasn't even that active at that time."

I had always been curious, but I forgot to ask him every single time until now.

The reason I had asked now was also because of the lifeless, aimless Cory in my dreams. Cory was a complete magic geek, but dream Cory didn't seem interested in magic at all. He looked like he was sick of magic, actually.

Did that change occur because I pushed my way into his life, even if it was a tiny bit? If I could figure out the reason for this change, I would hopefully be able to help dream Cory as well.

"……well."

Cory paused for a bit before speaking.

"So I actually got one of your products when I was younger, right?"

It was a long-distance communication device. He told me that he remembered my first product perfectly.

"But the device's magic circle activation methods weren't normal so I was really surprised. Honestly, I thought that magic circles couldn't be changed from their set rules, so I thought they were boring."

Cory stretched his hand to my eyes to close them as he told me to sleep as he spoke, so I pretended to close my eyes as I narrowed them and continued listening. He smiled gently.

"I took apart all of the things that you produced. All of the circles in your devices were all new and different, so I was completely hooked. I didn't even realize time was passing when I was looking at your devices. That was how I spent time during my boring childhood."

And your devices helped a lot too, Cory muttered quietly to himself.

Cory said that he took apart all of my devices and found himself awed by them year after year, and somehow ended up being my fan.

But, wow, I was getting sleepier by the second. I gave up on keeping my eyes narrowed and just closed my eyes. Sleep rushed over me because I was completely exhausted. Cory's gentle voice and tone probably helped lulling me to sleep, too.

Cory kept braiding my hair as he spoke. His hands on my hair made me more relaxed, too.

"I remember when I first saw you."

I was just about to fall asleep when I heard Cory speak quietly.

"I didn't know that I'd become so close to you like this."

Cory stopped braiding my hair. Then, he tucked a lock of hair near my face behind my ear.

"…..I have a lot of things to thank you for."

I could hear his unique voice, gentle and quiet in the room. As I slowly lost consciousness, his words and his voice lingered in my mind.

With that last sentence, I fell asleep.

As soon as I entered my dreams, I saw Cory lying on his bed and aiming each of the snacks in his bag into the trash can and getting a perfect shot.

Dream Cory was quiet and tired as always.

He was the same as every other day, but for some reason, it was incredibly loud outside. The sound of students' shocked voices and yells rang through the hallway.

The students were speaking so loudly that their conversations were clear from within the room.

"Hey, Swanhaden! Swanhaden is back in school!"

"The Blanche duke? That mass murderer? I thought he was expelled because he hadn't shown up to school for so long!"

"He's a duke, idiot. How would they just expel him like that? Anyway, spare yourself and hide!"

At the news that Swanhaden was back at the academy, the boys' dorm burst into a flurry of panic.

News about Swanhaden's return to school spread across the academy in the speed of light.

The campus' mood dipped into one of fear. The clouds seemed to hide the sun from view and it looked like it would rain any second. It was dark, as if someone had closed the curtains on the world. The air felt wet and humid. There was light, but it was still dark. The air felt heavy, as if the world was surrounded by fog and dust.

I moved away from the sleeping Cory and looked outside to see kids running around, faces pale. There were a few kids who were ripping their hairs out in fear, and other students who kept checking where Swan was.

The students were shaking in fear as they spoke about Swanhaden. Even as they spoke, they couldn't hide their fear. They kept biting their lips nervously. Their eyes were blown wide from fear as they looked left and right. I could hear students biting their nails.

I was curious about how dream Swanhaden was different from real life Swanhaden, so I started to pay attention to their conversations.

"Even if I have to undergo horrible torture, if I could become your queen then that would be my, and my family's honor."

My heart hurt at Hestia's words.

Hylli ground his teeth as he glared down at Hestia's quietly speaking form.

"……never mind. I'll do it alone."

As Hylli turned around to leave right then, Hestia sighed in relief before hurriedly looking back down when he suddenly turned around.

"Was it Shuraina? The name of your friend."

Hylli, who had suddenly stopped, spoke once again.

"She keeps on sticking by my side–you should check on her behavior. If you don't want to see your friend in two pieces, I mean."

And with that, Hylli once again turned around and walked away from Hestia.

Once Hestia checked that Hylli had left, she sighed and leaned on the wall of the academy building.

"Kyaaaaaa, Hestia! Hestia!"

Hestia kept sighing to herself when a girl ran towards Hestia from the area Hylli left. Her sharp voice made Hestia frown.

"Oh my goodness, Hestia!"

Hestia looked up to watch the girl run towards her.

The girl who was running looked familiar.

She had orange hair and crimson eyes.

Yes. It was me.

"Kyaaaa, I just bumped into his royal highness! Wow! Seriously! His gaze towards me was just burning hot, you know?"

The girl with my face squealed with enamored eyes.

What the hell is she?

"Aaaah, Sir Hylli~ He really looked like a prince from a fairy tale."

Hestia listened to the orange haired girl, me from the original novel, with one ear and let it out the other.

Dream me smiled like a pervert as she giggled.

"Sir Hylli's gaze was so hot, does he like me too? Kyaaa! What should I do!"

I immediately woke up.

My hands shook. My legs shook too.

Shame enveloped me as I remembered me and my shameful actions in my dream. The orange haired girl that I kept seeing in my dream lingered in my mind.

What did I say again. I smiled like a pervert, seconds away from drooling, as I talked about Hylli and blah blah blah.

In the original novel, 'Shuraina' was a gossipy character who liked to lead the charge with a high self-esteem.

I was incredibly used to my orange hair and crimson eyes because I had been born as Shuraina and gained memories of my previous life during my childhood. That was why the original novel's 'Shuraina' just felt incredibly unfamiliar to me.

If the memories of my past life didn't return, would I have become the same as that girl in the dream?

The girl and I looked identical to each other, but I couldn't accept that I held even a fraction of likeness to the girl I saw in my dream.

Sure, I liked princes and ponies when I was little, but I didn't have an outgoing personality like that child.

Man, I didn't know. I was incredibly young when I remembered my past life, so I didn't remember too much about it.

Shushu, it's okay. Everyone has something like an ant tunnel or something in their personalities. Hylli was cute and kind but he also had that cringey part of him in his personality too. It was the same for me too.

I tried my best to accept my shocking self in my dream and massaged my temples.

My daily life didn't change much because of my weird dreams. Today was club day, so I grabbed my bag and headed to the club room.

I walked past a familiar hallway and grabbed the handle of my club door. For the clubs with high performance rates, each of them received a gold-plated door plate on their doors. I proudly looked at the gold door plate labelled Magic Circle Manipulation Club before heading in the club.

When I walked in, Cory was already in the room.

Cory glanced at me when I entered the room and gave me a short but warm greeting.

I was happy to see real life Cory after seeing the lifeless Cory in my dreams. Real life Cory seemed a lot more relaxed and alive compared to dream Cory. He also seemed to be genuinely enjoying what he did, too.

Cory greeted me briefly before reading his book, but soon looked surprised as he looked at me again.

"Shushu, are you okay?"

Cory had been lying down to read his book. He stood up and walked towards me.

"Have you been having a hard time sleeping these days? You look really rough."

Cory worried about me as he told me that my dark circles were down to my chin. At his worried expression, I looked towards the nearest mirror to look at myself.

Just like Cory said, my current state wasn't a joke. The skin under my eyes were dark and sunken in from my dark circles, and both my hair and skin were completely dry. My lips were so dry that it made me look sick. I could see why Cory was worried.

Sleep wasn't the problem: I slept whenever I could. The miserable part about my situation was that I was sleeping too much. I ended up falling into that dream whenever I slept, but that completely exhausted me. I thought this was happening because of the black magic incident, but Cory would worry too much if I told him that. I lied and told him that I couldn't sleep because of a fun novel that I was reading these days.

At my lie, Cory narrowed his eyes in disbelief. I grabbed a romance novel that Isabel lent me from my bag and showed it to him. Cory asked if it was the same book that I had gotten to read months before, so I just lied and said that I was rereading it.

"….has anything changed after the black magic incident?""I don't think so."

Cory kept looking here and there to check. He pulled me down onto the sofa and took off the blanket around his shoulders to put on me.

"Hurry and go to sleep.""….I don't wanna sleep."

If I fell asleep here, then I would dream that dream. I was scared of dreaming and meeting that orange haired girl again. She and I were obviously different, but she was still 'me'. So whenever I saw her strange, uncomfortable behaviors, it made me feel ashamed.

Cory dragged a chair near the sofaI was lying on.

When I stared at Cory after telling him I didn't want to sleep, Cory just wordlessly stared back.

As we continued to stare at each other, I struck up a conversation after remembering something.

"Cory, I have something I want to ask."

Cory quietly nodded at my words. What do you want to know? Cory asked. I continued.

"You like me a lot, right.""Huh?"

Cory looked taken aback at my words. His eyes were wide as he thought about something to himself. He wiped the expression off of his face. His ears reddened.

"Aaah. Well, yeah. I'm your fan."

Cory nodded acceptingly and brushed my messy hair back.

"How did you learn about Shunivalen? I wasn't even that active at that time."

I had always been curious, but I forgot to ask him every single time until now.

The reason I had asked now was also because of the lifeless, aimless Cory in my dreams. Cory was a complete magic geek, but dream Cory didn't seem interested in magic at all. He looked like he was sick of magic, actually.

Did that change occur because I pushed my way into his life, even if it was a tiny bit? If I could figure out the reason for this change, I would hopefully be able to help dream Cory as well.

"……well."

Cory paused for a bit before speaking.

"So I actually got one of your products when I was younger, right?"

It was a long-distance communication device. He told me that he remembered my first product perfectly.

"But the device's magic circle activation methods weren't normal so I was really surprised. Honestly, I thought that magic circles couldn't be changed from their set rules, so I thought they were boring."

Cory stretched his hand to my eyes to close them as he told me to sleep as he spoke, so I pretended to close my eyes as I narrowed them and continued listening. He smiled gently.

"I took apart all of the things that you produced. All of the circles in your devices were all new and different, so I was completely hooked. I didn't even realize time was passing when I was looking at your devices. That was how I spent time during my boring childhood."

And your devices helped a lot too, Cory muttered quietly to himself.

Cory said that he took apart all of my devices and found himself awed by them year after year, and somehow ended up being my fan.

But, wow, I was getting sleepier by the second. I gave up on keeping my eyes narrowed and just closed my eyes. Sleep rushed over me because I was completely exhausted. Cory's gentle voice and tone probably helped lulling me to sleep, too.

Cory kept braiding my hair as he spoke. His hands on my hair made me more relaxed, too.

"I remember when I first saw you."

I was just about to fall asleep when I heard Cory speak quietly.

"I didn't know that I'd become so close to you like this."

Cory stopped braiding my hair. Then, he tucked a lock of hair near my face behind my ear.

"…..I have a lot of things to thank you for."

I could hear his unique voice, gentle and quiet in the room. As I slowly lost consciousness, his words and his voice lingered in my mind.

With that last sentence, I fell asleep.

As soon as I entered my dreams, I saw Cory lying on his bed and aiming each of the snacks in his bag into the trash can and getting a perfect shot.

Dream Cory was quiet and tired as always.

He was the same as every other day, but for some reason, it was incredibly loud outside. The sound of students' shocked voices and yells rang through the hallway.

The students were speaking so loudly that their conversations were clear from within the room.

"Hey, Swanhaden! Swanhaden is back in school!"

"The Blanche duke? That mass murderer? I thought he was expelled because he hadn't shown up to school for so long!"

At the news that Swanhaden was back at the academy, the boys' dorm burst into a flurry of panic.

News about Swanhaden's return to school spread across the academy in the speed of light.

The campus' mood dipped into one of fear. The clouds seemed to hide the sun from view and it looked like it would rain any second. It was dark, as if someone had closed the curtains on the world. The air felt wet and humid. There was light, but it was still dark. The air felt heavy, as if the world was surrounded by fog and dust.

I moved away from the sleeping Cory and looked outside to see kids running around, faces pale. There were a few kids who were ripping their hairs out in fear, and other students who kept checking where Swan was.

The students were shaking in fear as they spoke about Swanhaden. Even as they spoke, they couldn't hide their fear. They kept biting their lips nervously. Their eyes were blown wide from fear as they looked left and right. I could hear students biting their nails.

I was curious about how dream Swanhaden was different from real life Swanhaden, so I started to pay attention to their conversations.