Chapter 153 A Boquet Of Regret
"Everyone, lunch is ready!" Asuka called out cheerfully as she set the last dish on the dining table in the Hayase family home.
It was the weekend, and the Hayase siblings were at home, enjoying a rare moment of peace.
Both Haruto and Haruka made their way to the dining room, their eyes widening at the variety of dishes spread across the table.
"Hm… western food today?"
Haruto asked, taking in the sight of a golden rotisserie chicken, asparagus, mashed potatoes, spaghetti, and an assortment of other delicacies.
"Yup! Eating Japanese food every day gets boring," Asuka replied with a grin as she scooped mashed potatoes onto the siblings' plates.
All the dishes had been prepared by Asuka while Chiyo would prepare dinner.
Since learning about the tragic death of Asuka's son, Chiyo had been nothing but kind to her.
Her compassion extended to quietly accepting the time Haruto spent with Asuka, even when it meant less time with her.
"Ahh, sorry, I'm late!" Chiyo chimed in, slipping into the chair beside Haruto.
Her eyes sparkled as she surveyed the spread. "Wow, this looks amazing."
"Thank you, Chiyo," Asuka said warmly, her smile genuine.
Haruto couldn't help but notice the transformation in their relationship.
Though there was still a trace of tension between the two women, it was far less palpable than it had been when Asuka first came into their household—a time that had been a complete disaster.
Even more, Haruto loved seeing Asuka smile without pretense. She no longer hid behind her mask or forced polite expressions.
There was a newfound lightness to her demeanor, as if Kota's funeral had finally allowed her to let go of her burdens or maybe she hide her feeling too well.
As they ate, the room filled with lively conversation about their activities and plans.
"I want to share a room with you during our holiday, brother!" Haruka declared with an impish grin.
Haruto sighed, already imagining the logistical challenges. "I'm fine with it, but isn't it too short, Haruka? Why don't we plan for a longer trip during winter vacation?"
"Nah," Haruka retorted, pouting playfully. "By then, you'll probably have forgotten all about me and gone on vacation with another woman!"
At the mention of "another woman," Chiyo and Asuka nearly choked on their food. Haruka, blissfully unaware of the tangled relationships in the room, carried on.
"Besides, Kyoto is perfect in autumn!" she added with enthusiasm.
Haruto shook his head, giving up. "Fine, if you insist. But don't complain if your legs are sore by the end of it, and you have to go back to school limping."
Haruka smirked triumphantly, crossing her arms. "Hmph! Don't underestimate me! I can shop for three hours straight without taking a break!"
The group launched into a discussion about the best spots to visit in Kyoto. The room buzzed with energy as they planned for the siblings vacation.
When lunch was over, Chiyo and Haruka took on the task of cleaning up while Asuka excused herself.
She mentioned needing to fetch something from the market and slipped away to her room to grab her overcoat.
Haruto, however, wasn't convinced by her excuse. He caught up to her as she was leaving.
"I'll come with you," he said firmly.
At first, Asuka resisted. "There's no need. It's just a quick trip—"
But Haruto's unyielding determination won out. With a reluctant sigh, she let him accompany her.n/ô/vel/b//in dot c//om
They walked side by side to the market, where she headed straight to a flower shop. She purchased a bouquet of white lilies, cradling the delicate blooms as if they held unspoken secrets.
"I told you I was just going to the market," Asuka said lightly, attempting to downplay her intentions.
Haruto gave her a skeptical glance, taking the flowers from her hands. "No sane person goes to the market every day just to buy flowers and comes back with nothing else."
Asuka rolled her eyes, but her lips twitched into a faint smile. "What do you mean, 'nothing'? I bring desserts for the three of you, don't I?"
"Don't lie, Asuka. I know where you've been going all this time."
Her expression faltered, and silence settled between them as they continued their walk. Eventually, they arrived at their destination—a graveyard.
Specifically, Kota's grave.
It was surrounded by white lilies, the pristine flowers arranged in delicate clusters around the headstone.
Haruto quietly placed the bouquet he carried in front of it, the fragrance of the lilies mixing with the crisp air.
"Are you still blaming yourself?" he asked, breaking the silence.
Asuka didn't answer immediately. Instead, she pointed to a fire truck toy nestled amidst the flowers.
"See that toy?" she began softly, her voice laden with regret.
"Kota wanted it more than anything when he was little. I bought it for him, thinking he'd run to me, hug me, and thank me for it."
Her hands trembled as she continued, her gaze fixed on the grave. "But when I saw him, I hid the toy behind my back. I didn't let him have it. I didn't even let him touch me. The way I felt disgusted when I saw him…"
"He was only seven… and even then, he realized his mother didn't love him."
Her voice broke. "That toy… I finally gave it to him. But only here, at his grave."
She turned to Haruto, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "Tell me, Haruto. How do I let go of this guilt? How do I move on when I couldn't even give him the love he deserved?"
"I don't know his favorite food, his favorite color, or if he had a girl he liked. I don't even know his favorite flower so I just bought mine to his tomb."
Her voice wavered, her emotions unraveling. "I didn't cry at his funeral, but there's this weight in my chest—this voice that keeps telling me I'm a bad mother."
She clenched her fists, her body trembling. "How can I live normally when I know the day my son died, he sent that video to his entire school? He must have hated me… even in the end."
"Asuka…" Haruto whispered, guilt welling in his heart.
Not guilt for Kota's death, but for the way he'd taken advantage of the woman before him. A mother who had hidden her pain for far too long.
Closing the distance between them, he gently embraced her. His arms wrapped around her trembling frame as he spoke softly yet firmly.
"You can throw your guilt at me. Blame me, hate me if you need to. But you have to let him go, Asuka. You deserve to live."
She hesitated, her voice barely audible. "Can I… do that? Can I live happily without him?"
Tears spilled down her cheeks, the dam breaking as years of suppressed sorrow poured out like a torrent.
Her sobs were raw, her pain palpable as she clung to Haruto's embrace.
"You can," he said, his tone resolute. "You need to. I'm here for you. Share your guilt with me, and together, we'll let it go."
Asuka cried harder, but she nodded, her hands clutching his shirt as if anchoring herself to his strength.
She knew it needed a good amount of time to move on, but at least she wasn't alone now.
There was this man who was always by her side and the one who made her happy. The one she wanted the most that would share her guilt and burden.
So the two of them could heal… could finally move on and be happy again.