34 Episode 34: The Lonely Princess
"... remember when you first met me?
"... come dress more sneaky"
"I want you to hear my heart scream when you jump in my current outfit"
"I'm sorry!
"You think apologizing won't make a bad rumor!?"
I escaped from the outhouse and jumped into the Gana Workshop as I dressed. I was out of the palace, so my outfit remained quite royal. Naturally, Tomas, jumped in, is angry and angry. I'm sorry.
Honestly, I care about Tomas. I can't afford it. The back of the nose is hot, and the back of the eye remains twitchy hot. If I got caught off guard, I was about to have a voice that didn't make sense, and I was like a child.
Tomas sighed as he sat round his knee in the corner of the workshop to indulge in the uncontrollable things he couldn't even control himself.
"... go home"
"That's a comforting place!?"
"Shut up, shut up. Don't get me into trouble. Eighty-nine, you're in trouble."
"Not nice! Me, princess! Yes, work!
"You can go and report that the princess is knee-wrapped in such a filthy place, right?
"I'm sorry! I said all I could!
I really want you to give me a break about being brought back now. I mean, you're making a scene, aren't you? He noticed I was crying and usually looked at the knights who came to stop him with all their might.
Or it's going to annoy Yufi awesome. But when I think of Yufi's face, I can't help but want to die. My heart hurts, I'm going to cry, and I'm going to make my nose squeal. Then I heard Tomas tongue pounding.
"... yeah depressing"
"... terrible"
"You're the one who's terrible. Nothing but royalty and tragedy running into civilian workshops crying."
"Sorry......"
That's certainly a tragedy... no, it's really depressing...
"... uh, already. Don't apologize. So, what happened?"
"Are you listening to me?
"Go home when you talk."
"... yeah"
You can't stay in a boulder for long. Makes me mistake that I ran in crying. It's bad for Tomas if there's a rumor. No, it might be too late. I wonder what you're really doing, me.
I'm going to tell Tomas about the depression but also the bump and how this happened. I know I've had a lot of stupidity to say to Tomas, but this could have been the first time I've ever cried. Usually I haven't even figured myself out so far...
Besides, I was just careful now. But I don't want anyone to touch me. It was such a complicated feeling. So I was thankful that Tomas didn't even return the hammer and just stayed there and listened.
Recently, I thought Al was gone and I had to take over the throne. That's where Yuffi said he wanted to be king. When they told me I was free to chase my dreams, there was nothing I could do about it and I couldn't figure it out.
"... so I ran away. Why did you run away? I don't know... I don't know myself. For the first time, I'm sick of being grumpy..."
I don't want to go back. I don't want to face anyone who knows my face now. To Uffi, to Ilia, to Raini, to Father, to Mother. I just wanted to be alone. But I didn't want to be alone either.
The contradictory feelings don't take shape, they circle around. I don't know anything about this. I don't even know what to do without knowing. I can only squat with my knees, I don't want to.
"Right. Then go home."
"... terrible"
"You, I told you I was leaving.
"I don't want to go home"
"Why?"
"... I don't know"
"Liar."
"I'm not lying!
"I'm scared, you are. That's the only reason you're running away."
"... Scared?
Scared, ran away? What's that? Just, that's all...?
"... is that so simple? This."
Other than that, I don't know why.
"Why?"
"I'm scared if someone tells me to keep my life. Even if I cut off from my family. But I feel heavily prepared if they tell me I'm going down the road I know it's difficult. It's still heavy when people say it's for their dreams."
... heavy preparedness, huh? That's, yeah. Yufi's readiness is heavy. Even now I know I was surprised.
"... Tomas."
"What the fuck?"
"... are you making fun of me right now?
"Why?"
"'Cause I'm that Anisphere Win Palettia under the sky, right? He stormed the dragon, saying he was collecting material for the demon, and he went to fight alone... but he ran away."
Yufi's proclamation is goodwill. It was for me everywhere. Yet I ran away. I got scared, freaked out, couldn't take it, couldn't say anything back...
"... no, it's not weird to run away"
Tomas's response back is so unexpected that I look up in momentum.
"Why?"
"The only thing that Master Ennis can stand to lose is his own. For example, if the dragon leaves now, do you want to leave alone?
"... I'm not going"
"Why?
"... I'm not in that much of a rush for material right now. Besides, I'm the only one with the right to inherit the throne now."
Now, if I die from a single hit with a dragon, I won't be able to see it. So I can't reckless like that anymore. Until now, there was Al. Because Al was there, I wasn't worried that the king would be gone even if I died.
But not now. I am the next king. There is none but me. The country will be disturbed without me.... That's no good. If it becomes a civil conflict, many people will surely die.
"If it's just me, it's good. But you can't stand the fact that other people's lives are lost because of you. Anyway, until now, you thought you had Prince Algard even if you were dead, right?
……
"But Master Uphilia isn't. Only one, that's what I wanted from Lady Anise. I want my dreams to come true. If you snort, Master Uphilia will lose a lot of things."
"... it's, it's scary. 'Cause I don't know if it's worth it to me."
"Right. Nobody admitted it." Make your dreams come true before you are royal. "Who else could say that?"
... right. That's why I'm scared. 'Cause I'm royal. Nothing took precedence over that. Speaking of which, I'm sorry that Ufi isn't free. Get out of the house in the first place, because what do they say?
I wanted you to admit it. That's not a lie. But I didn't want to trade it for someone's life. Because I knew it wouldn't come true.
"... I didn't ask you to do that."
"... right, I can't say. Maybe I burned it because I burned it too."
"... Huh? Did you say that to Uffi the other day?
Tomas is scratching his cheek at first sight.... but Yuffi decides as much as Tomas tells you? No, maybe it was just hanging up. I'm sure Uffi thought about it a lot, worried about it, and decided on it. Because someone told me, what an easy determination.
That eye proves it. That eye of Yufi didn't look like such a light decision. I think that's why I got barometric pressure. So much so that you want to run away.
"... what did I say?"
"Master Anis said it wasn't for the king.... unless you" stop "Master Ennis."
"What's that?"
"You know that for yourself, don't you? Not Lady Anis," Her Royal Highness Princess Anisphere Wynn Palettia "cries mesomethodically in a castle workshop like this?
Unexpectedly there was a zero voice of distress. It hurts my heart to be poked all over the pain just now.
Surely royalty doesn't cry in places like this. I don't cry in the first place. You just have to freeze your mind before you cry. No royalty needs tears. I'm the one crying right now. You don't have to cry if you stop being me.
"I won't come here anymore if Master Anis becomes really just a royalty, and I won't do anything stupid, and I won't laugh.... I didn't ask you to do that and be king."
"... obnoxious, I stole people's dialogue"
"I'll steal it.... You had Master Algard. Why not? I've never heard of a queen."
Tell Tomas to bump his grievances.... That was so sweet to regret. Happy. So in my mouth I slap haters.
"Neither do I. There's no way. But al-kun... al-kun was hard, too. That's why you don't have specifications."
"I don't know."
"You don't have to know."
"Then don't cry, go home. Don't talk too much. If you're gonna cry, you're not here. What's so comforting about the words of the people?"
... will not.
I'm just glad you told Tomas you don't want me to be king. That's it. 'Cause Tomas can't do anything. There's no reason to either. Doesn't make sense if you do. That's why Tomas doesn't. I have such trust.
That's why I believed it. I don't like to hang out and get dried up, only my rotten arm is a good blacksmith Tomas. I asked him for it because I thought it looked like me somewhere. That's the beginning of our relationship. There's no such thing as warm feelings there. It has nothing to do with comfort.
"... sorry, thanks. I was losing myself a little bit. I'm coming out."
"Ah."
"Sorry to interrupt your work."
"Oh.... my next job, I'm waiting for you. If you want to come out later, weave your feathers around the robe. You stand out."
"... yeah"
I don't know what I replied to. I end up obscuring myself. I take the robe and go back the way to the royal palace to hide. Honestly, that foothold is heavy.
Scary. Words pointed out by Tomas come back to life. There is no need for Uffi to sacrifice himself. I think so from the bottom of my heart. Because Yufi is not even the next queen anymore. There's no reason to marry Al. There's no reason to take my place.
I wonder why not. I don't know. I'm scared because I don't know. I wonder why Uffi said he didn't want me to be king. I'm free, I follow my dreams, I wonder what that will be.
For the good of the people? Yeah, well, that could happen if the development succeeds. But if Uffi tries to embrace magic without radically changing current politics, that's hard, and it takes time to penetrate.
My dreams are only worth it to me. I just happen to be doing it for the people, and magic is just doing it for me. I can't use magic. It's a sign for me.
"... don't tell me I'm worth it"
Now, don't tell me. I don't know what to do. Don't say that.
I wonder if you could take it down when I get back. I want you to tell me it was a joke. Then Yuffi laughs at you for being a bad joke.
That can't be happening, I say calmly. Yufi is serious. Besides... I've found the advantage of Yuffi becoming royal. That made me angry.
The Royal Palace did not make any particular difference. The knight on the lookout and me back made it through without a novel today.
No one spoke to me. It just comes with a gaze that deals with the swelling on the far roll. What, now? Even the problem kids, they always looked at me like that. Why are you looking at pathetic things with such eyes?
You told me to be king, so I had no choice. Because I am royal. That's been the case for a long time. Because I'm royal, because I'm royal, because I'm royal! I'm royal!!
"I am royal."
So I have no choice.
Speak in your heart the words you have repeated over and over again. Let's give up. We have to give up. Give it up, I can stand it if I don't think of anything. Oh, yeah. Don't leave me half untrained.
I want to get easier soon. It's like walking in the water. I'm going to be unable to breathe. Still, I won't stop walking. There's no way I can stop you, because you told me to do it all the time and I can't run anymore.
"-... Dear Anis"
If you notice, the outhouse is at the end of your eyes and nose.
Uffi was standing at the entrance.
"... Ufi"
"Welcome back"
Did you wait for me? Ever since I popped up.
The serene expression doesn't know what you're thinking. My legs are going to bite. Still, my legs move. You just have to ignore all of them. Tell me, tell me.
Slip through the side of Uffi and enter the outer palace. At that moment, I was hugged by Uffi from behind.
"I don't think you want to be seen in the face, so please stay like this. If you really want to get away with it, figure it out."
"... ugh,... Uffi"
"... good"
"What was good about it? You want me to laugh funny?
"That's why you're so angry."
... What's that? He said it was so good that I was angry.
"I'm so glad I could intimidate you. Now if you can't even put it on your teeth, you'll have to get more excited."
"... what does Yufi want to do with me? You want to piss me off, make me an enemy?
"It's both right and wrong. I do want to piss you off. More importantly, I don't want to see you freeze your emotions. I don't want to be an enemy, I want to be equal. If you think you're wrong, you can do everything in your power."
Mistake......? I get angry with that word and try to unravel Yuffi's arm and turn around and face it again.
"Mistakes!? What is wrong with you!? Freezing your emotions!? What you don't understand is Ufi! That's what kings are for!! Kings who can't kill emotions are inferior to dictators who can't be fair! That's just a tyrant!!"
"Then you will be a tyrant. As my subordinate, I have a duty to stop it."
"... ugh!
"Can you tell me it won't? You know what I mean. You cannot abandon that longing. [M] No matter how sealed you are, you can't throw it away. If you're disrespectful, you can take this neck."
"I thought I would snort anything if I shielded my life!?"
"No, no. It is unacceptable for me, the Duke's wife, to flatter the royal family with such shallow thoughts."
Uffi is straight everywhere. I'm not bluffing. One step toward the will to slap him, he realizes his feet are falling back.
"At the cost of this life, but I want to protect your heart. I've decided to reach out to you that no one can reach."
"... it's heavy. It's so heavy. Who asked for it? Do that to me! I didn't ask for it!
"Otherwise, you've come to a point where you can't cry anymore, can you? Master Algard is gone. You are the only one. Because you're the only one. Then you can't wipe those tears without overturning that premise."
"I'm not crying! I'm not crying! I've been giving up for a long time! I can't believe this is happening without Al! I hoped it wouldn't! I was praying! Until then, no matter how foolish they were, it was rather convenient! Even if you come to your head, that's it. That's where it ended! No one expects me!! No one will look at what I wanted to be expected!!"
No matter how much magic props were made, it did not come true to bury the faith of magic.
I couldn't admit it, because nobody had to expect me to. I hope someone understands. That was enough. I wanted that to be enough.
"Me! If you say king! If you say the king deserves it... admit it! My magic! Unlike everyone else, this is my magic! I found the magic that makes everyone happy!!"
- Magic is a nice power to make everyone smile.
So I admired it. I wanted to reach out. I couldn't stop it if I knew it existed.
I knew what was not in this world, even if I had no magical talent. If we can create it, it will be magic that no one can do. Become magic for everyone.
I still think so. But it won't. The way the country works, the history of the country doesn't allow it. I have the confidence to make you admit it. But I wanted to make everyone happy and I made magic, and all I could do was turn it into a spark of contention!
I know you can't all be happy! Behind happiness lies misfortune! Happiness is a dream story!... Still, I can't live without dreaming.
"... Yes. I know. The value of your dreams. I know because you put me on your side. I wouldn't have thought of that. The richness and splendour that can be created by anyone who can take magical protection from the civilian population."
... stop.
"I'm sure you really should have been king more than anyone else. As much as your father wants. It doesn't arrive no matter how talented I get my daughter. Because you only have magic. But this country will not forgive you. Not yet, not yet. But...... that's because I walk alone. I will not spare this life to protect your dreams."
Stop it.
"You don't have to be king by yourself. Instead, I'll hit it and put it on. As long as it freezes my heart, I will be there. I won't let you give up. If the title King binds you, I'll take your place. So... please don't give up on wanting to be king until you kill your worth"
My breath was so painful that I didn't realize that I was stuffed with distance that I chewed my lips off the voices that seemed to pop up for no reason.
They grabbed my hand. Don't miss it this time. The hand I shook off, now grab my hand.
"I am here. Here, on your side of the mind. With you more than anyone. To dream of you together."
"Tell me that. What would you do if you couldn't be king?"
"At that time, be on your side as a stomach. Let me show you my father's acumen."
"If the king doesn't like it, he can't run away."
"Dream it over and over again then. With your dreams, I will be able to feather everywhere. Only if your magic is on your back."
"My family and not my family anymore."
"A king is the one who guides and loves all his people. … the relationship changes, but its thoughts remain the same"
"I thought I'd be happy to say that...?
"No.... I knew it would break my heart. But yes."
A hand that hasn't taken my hand slips through my chest with my fingers.
"If the wound put on me is more than the wound that can be put on the country in the name of the king. That I could risk my life to bury it. That's what I thought."
"............ Ufi is actually a hell of a confident guy?
"I'm a Duke's Lady. As second to the royal family, this is still not enough. If it's going to come to your dreams, it's still more."
"Don't tell me the duchess of the world is about to cry. You make me laugh..."
... Ouch. My heart hurts so much.
'Cause it's heavy, like this. Likewise, they gave their lives. I know, but that's what kings are for. I knew it was something that would keep other people's lives.
But that's bearable because you're a king. It's unbearable if you're not a king. So I'm not the king. To me, after all, Uffi's life is heavy.
"... I will not give up being king. It's a duty."
"Yes."
"... but Yuffi decided not to have to take my hand."
"Yep."
"Then we need to keep an eye on it. Because now Uffi is just a renegade minister. No choice, no choice."
"Right."
"... I can't give anything back if I lose them all"
"I've already received it"
Uffi's hands wrapped around my hands and lifted them. Hands over each other as we pray in front of our breasts, and we gaze.
"Dream, future, wish, and now me. Someone like a meteor who saved me the empty and gave me light that day that I just did my part. I got you something irreplaceable."
That day, I just wanted to test my night flight.
It was also a coincidence that I flew into the venue of the College of Lords.
I gave Yufi my hand because I just wanted to.
If such a coincidence is my "magic" circle, then so be it.
"... It's a big deal, Yuffi."
I wonder if I could lean on it one day. Because I don't have that courage right now.
But I just want to keep my hands connected. Now, that's all I need.
He pressed his forehead against our hands, layered to pray. Please, don't let this connected hand get away.