Chapter 235: The Wolf is the voice of reason
Xiao Zai left Xiao Yuan's estate feeling winded.
The conversation had smoothly transitioned from Gu Wei to Ru Long and the threat he posed after Xiao Yuan's comment -- but Xiao Zai kept turning his brothers words around in his head for the whole meal.
And even now that he was returning to the royal palace, he couldn't help pondering on them.
The hardest thing for him was conciliating the image of Gu Wei as a caring, selfless parent, who sacrificed so much for him and his sister, with his self-serving actions.
But Xiao Yuan's words had made him wonder if perhaps Gu Wei saw them as 'necessary evils' -- if instead of selfishly pursuing a road that would benefit him down the line, he was perhaps fooling himself into believing he was just doing what needed to be done.
It was hard to forgive outright cruelty, but what about a misguided sense of duty?
He knew Gu Wei wouldn't explain himself any more than he already had, nor would he ever apologise for his actions. It wasn't in his nature to regret what he had done.
Xiao Zai suspected that if he started doing it, he would have to follow that chain all the way to the decisions that put him in Xiao An's path, and inside the royal palace -- the mental toll would be too great. And so Gu Wei ignored it, and moved on.
Xiao Zai couldn't say that the conversation with Xiao Yuan had help him make up his mind, but it had loosened some of the tightness around his chest, giving him some breathing room. He didn't have to come to a conclusion now, there was time.
He turned the corner towards his quarters but came to a sudden stop when he saw Hua Nanyi standing in front of the closed doors to their suit of rooms, something clenched tight in her fist.
She was hesitating between knocking, and walking right in, as she was at liberty to do.
"A message for Chu Yun?" Xiao Zai asked, making her jump at the sound of his voice.
She gave him a wary look before extending him a crumpled piece of paper. "This arrived by bird today, it is addressed to her First Highness, but his Majesty should probably read it first."
Chu Yun only trusted her with the most sensitive correspondence they sent, and the palace's private pigeon tower had been emptied of all workers, with only Hua Nanyi checking for an answer from Su.
Now, days later, it had arrived. She clenched her teeth and did her duty. Xiao Zai could respect that.
"This doesn't change anything," he said, taking the letter from her. "Chu Yun will support whatever relationship you and Xiao Ziyi pursue, and so will I." He cleared his throat feeling a little awkward at the topic of conversation. "We'll silence any dissenting voices-"
"There's no relationship to speak of," she said, tone clipped. She bowed to Xiao Zai and turned on her heel. "His Majesty and His Royal Highness should call on me if there's anything else."
Hua Nanyi orbited a murky grey area, where her relationship with Chu Yun entitled her to a certain familiarity that while not possible in public, they had no problem maintaining in private.
She had been at once dismissive and distant while talking with Xiao Zai, highlighting how unnatural her behaviour was.
He walked into the room feeling worried for the future of her relationship with Chu Yun, and almost smacked straight into Chu Yun, who had been listening behind the closed door.
"What are you doing?" Xiao Zai asked amused, after steadying Chu Yun with a hand around the waist.
Chu Yun didn't even look flustered to be caught. "I was listening in, obviously." He let out a frustrated sigh and gestured towards the now closed door. "I was just about to leave when I heard pacing outside the door. I stood here trying to figure out if she'd get the courage to knock or not, and then you showed up."
Xiao Zai took Chu Yun's hand and dragged him out of the reception room and into their bedroom proper.
"I think you should have a talk with her," Xiao Zai said, smiling when Chu Yun let go of his hand with a frown.
"She's being difficult on purpose."
She could very well be. Hua Nanyi and Chu Yun had a lot in common in some aspects.
"I think she's scared of change," Xiao Zai said, pointing out one such similarity, "I think the whole Xiao Ziyi 'engagement' thing made her wonder about her own future, what she wants from it, what it would even look like."
A notch of confusion appeared between Chu Yun's eyebrows. "She can keep doing exactly what she always has."
Xiao Zai raised a disbelieving eyebrow at him. "Even when she's 50? Older than that even? She's going to keep climbing ceilings and sneaking into your enemies' houses?"
That brought Chu Yun to a stop. Xiao Zai knew from experience that he was capable of long term planning, but only if it came to strategy. Five-year plans, ten-year plans, twenty-year plans and beyond but only as they applied to an entire nation -- never a single individual.
Xiao Zai hadn't brought it up to make him feel guilty, he just wanted him to see that while the rest of his life extended in front of his eyes in a clearly defined path, Hua Nanyi's didn't.
"What does that say?" he asked, nodding towards the crumpled paper, switching the subject smoothly.
Chu Yun unsealed the letter and scanned it quickly. "It's from the Queen, she accepts out invitation," his eyebrows climbed up his forehead. "In fact, she says we can expect her and the Third Princess to arrive soon after this letter, as they'll be leaving for Haolin immediately."
"Very eager," Xiao Zai noted.
Chu Yun folded the letter and stuffed it inside the pocket of his sleeve. "Things in Su must be even worse than we thought."