I Don’t Want To Be An Ojakgyo

Swanhaden sat on the back of the soldier who was currently in a push-up position, thinking of Shuraina.

Like the soldier had said earlier, Shuraina wasn't exactly pretty. But Swanhaden didn't care how she looked. Even if, in the future, Shuraina became taller than himself with big, bulging muscles, it didn't matter. It didn't matter if her nose was the size of a fist. Shuraina, her presence, her existence, was the thing that was most important to him–not her gender or her appearance.

Shuraina was the only one who had looked at him when he was slowly losing his mind, and hurt with him, and approached him as a friend.

Somewhere along the line, a small seed had been planted within his heart. At first, it felt weird and uncomfortable, but that seed had planted itself deep within his heart without him realizing. And then, from some unknown point in time, a large, unbearably large fruit filled with emotion had been in its place. If he wanted to end this relationship, he had to rip the whole thing from its roots.

He thought of Shuraina whenever he closed his eyes. The memories that she had gifted him lingered in his mind's eye. Her tone as she tried to be mean to him, the eyes she looked at him with, the clear sound of her laughter. There wasn't a single bad memory in his mind. Swan continued to remember and relive the memories as he made his way through the bleak battlefields.

Even as he suffered, day in and out, Swanhaden missed and yearned for Shuraina. They said that time would cool things down, but Swan's heart only grew fonder as time passed.

Swanhaden, still sitting on the back of the soldier, opened his mouth. The soldier looked absolutely miserable, arms and legs shaking from overuse.

"I just like them. Shuraina, that is."

Swan sighed deeply.

Interlude 4. The Hardcore Little Duke

The pilgrimage to earn the position of heir finally ended. I finally finished all of the processes that allowed me to take the position of duke whenever I wanted, but there was something more important for me than becoming the next duke.

And that was attending Augran Academy.

Well, frankly, there was a specific girl that was more important than attending the school itself.

Shuraina West. I could finally meet her now.

I had missed and yearned for Shuraina for the past seven years. After erasing her memories, I hadn't seen her even once. I had thought about looking for her and secretly seeing her face time and time again, but I thought that I wouldn't be able to bear to go back if I saw her, so I stopped myself. I might have run away from the pilgrimage and everything else to kidnap Shuraina and hide. It had been a very difficult few years.

A year before I entered the academy, I contacted them and requested a dorm room. They allowed me to place my belongings before I actually attended the academy. They also allowed me to enter the academy without taking any placement exams.

Currently, I was moving my belongings into the dorm. I didn't check who my roommate was, but it didn't really matter who it was. It wouldn't even matter. But if I did have to share a room, I hoped I could dorm with someone like Hylli, who was easily aggravated and fun to tease.

But for seven years to have passed without seeing Shuraina.

In the picture that I held, Shuraina had short orange hair that barely passed her ears, and angry-looking sambaekan eyes. Her cheeks were plump with baby fat, and she was bigger than others her age. She had a similar height and build as me.

'It's already been seven years, so Shuraina must have changed a lot, right?'

I imagined how Shuraina could have changed. Well, she had practiced the sword, so I imagined that she would be pretty well-built. And she ate a lot, so she must be pretty plump as well. Shuraina had always been kind of lazy, so maybe she kept her hair short? She was pretty big when she was younger, so she must be the same size or slightly bigger than me.

When I tried to imagine the current Shuraina based on the child Shuraina, I could only picture a large male student with a healthy build. A handsome boy with short orange hair and bulging muscles….? No. Shuraina said herself that she was a girl, so she must be a pretty girl. A pretty orange-haired girl with bulging muscles.

Whatever, I just wanted to see her. But what was I going to say to her when I approached her? I had never tried to approach anyone with good intentions, so I was lost. Everyone else looked stupid and insignificant.

I racked my head for ideas before coming to a conclusion. I would go with, 'Long time no see.' She remembered our first meeting, after all. She would still think of me as a childhood friend. Maybe she would accept me more easily if I approached her through the childhood friend route?

"Oh right, Shushu said that she wasn't going to date, right?"

"Yeah."

While I was thinking, I heard a few girls' voices as they talked.

I raised my head when I heard a familiar voice coming closer and closer, then looked at the girls coming nearer.

"Why?"

"Honestly, because I don't think I'll be able to. So I want to live by myself and eat well and be happy."

When the pink blob asked the question, the orange-haired girl next to her smiled bitterly and opened her mouth.

At that moment, the familiar voice caught my attention immediately, and I couldn't help but pause my movements when I saw familiar red eyes.

"Shu……raina?"

All of the thoughts in my head screeched into a halt. That girl was definitely Shuraina. In the middle of all of the insignificant blobs, an orange-haired girl caught my attention.

I couldn't do anything else but stare at Shuraina, who had changed a lot while I was gone.

A porcelain doll was walking around. That wasn't a person. That was a fairy. Her small stature made her seem petite. Her curly orange hair gently blew with the wind. Her lazy looking crimson eyes looked dreamy. The slight smile she had on her face as she listened to the pink blob's story was incredibly beautiful.

The boy-like child from my memories had matured quite a lot. I watched Shuraina as she walked around with her short legs and small feet energetically, heart frantically pounding in my chest.

The problem was that she her appearance was completely different from the ones that I had pictured. The general feeling she has was similar to the child that I knew but her size and her appearance were so different that I had to seriously think if she was her or not for a while.

My mind stopped working for a long while. I couldn't take my eyes off of Shuraina, who was happily chatting with her friend. Her gentle, soft crimson eyes curved lightly as she smiled.

Hold on, that's an actual person? Seriously? What? What in the……. What, why….. Uh……

I must've been out of my mind. How is that a real person? I was trying to marry her? Me, a mere mortal? I must've been out of my mind. Why did she change like that? No, I mean….. How did…. What?

My heart pounded like crazy. I was in so much trouble. My mind was completely blank. I didn't know what to do or how to proceed. My childhood friend, in the few years I had gone away, had grown into a fairy. No, she was a goddess.

When I continued to stare, Shuraina seemed to notice my gaze and turned to look at me.

I worried that I was going to go completely insane if I met eyes with her, so I immediately looked down. I was walking properly, right? Because it felt like I wasn't breathing properly right now.

Then, I accidentally bumped into the pink blob. What was that blob's name, Hes-something? I immediately wanted to run away from Shuraina, but I couldn't because I bumped into the blob. I cursed lowly.

Shuraina began to pick up the things that I had dropped. I felt like my heart was going to pound out of my chest as I saw her move and how dainty her hands were.

It must have been because I had yearned for her for so long or because Shuraina was too pretty, or both. But I couldn't stand to be next to Shuraina. I was too happy and too honored and, strangely, too nervous. Honestly, I couldn't believe that Shuraina was right next to me.

I frantically took the items that she handed me. Then, right when I thought of running away, I decided to say something to commemorate the first time we met, then thought of what to say with my head still down.

'First, should I say, 'It's been a while,' and thank her for picking up my stuff?'

But when I tried to say something, my tongue wasn't cooperating, and my entire body shook. What was I doing, like an idiot? Stop shaking your legs. Stop shaking your hands.

I inhaled deeply to calm myself down. Then, I raised my head again to look at Shuraina but I failed. In the end, I had to make do by staring at the pink blob and occasionally peeking at Shuraina as I spoke.

"It's been a while, huh?"

Thankfully, I didn't shake. I felt disgusting, smiling at the pink blob, but I was happy enough that I could face Shuraina's direction as I spoke to her. The pink blob's face looked absolutely disgusted, but it didn't matter. The orange hair next to the blob made me happy. I finished speaking and passed Shuraina as I left.

My heart was pounding. I walked slowly with my belongings, then walked faster, then eventually sprinted away. Then, I tripped again.

I felt absolutely pathetic, but there was nothing I could do. Shuraina's beauty had to be some kind of cheat. She was cute, pretty, and adorable. She was past us mere mortals. I was going to go absolutely insane.

But what was I going to do?

When I walked to my dorms, filled with worry, I saw that my clothes boxes were thrown out onto a corner in the hallway.

It seemed that my roommate, Yvnes, had thrown all of my belongings out of the room.

I decided to generously thank him for his welcome.

'You're dead, you asshole.'

First, I decided to collect any and all information about her. I wanted to ask her directly, but I couldn't get myself to do that just yet. I was too scared to meet her eyes. I feared that my heart would stop beating.

In the middle of my information-gathering, I learned that there videos going around among the students that were called 'Shuraina's Dark Past.' I made it a point to collect all of those items and crushed them into pieces.

In one of the videos, Shuraina was singing. It was funny, but it made me angry that Shuraina must have been embarrassed. It made me doubly angry thinking that this was circulating amongst the students. I made sure that everyone could see what happened if they made fun of Shuraina and talked about her behind her back.

In the meanwhile, I tried my best to get closer to her. I visited the yellow class every day. There, I made sure to practice looking at Shushu every day.

If I continued to expose myself to Shuraina's mindblowing beauty, maybe I could see her face to face one day. But would that day ever come? I didn't know.

Shuraina shone brightly even in the swordsmanship class. Seeing such an adorable girl use her sword with such strong, efficient steps was amazing. Her skills had improved significantly since I saw her last.

It seemed that Hylli had played a significant part in her growth. There was an incredible amount of muscle training that she undertook, but because of that Shuraina showed sharp, yet heavy steps as she swung her sword.

In his heart of hearts, he wanted to drown Hylli in a nearby pond for staying around her because of 'training.' He wanted to practice with Shuraina himself, but he thought that maybe it was too dangerous for his heart. But even if his heart stopped then and there, he would probably die happy.

Instead, I vented my anger towards the other blue class students.