Reincarnated as the Villainess’s Unlucky Bodyguard

"You're welcome to let me handle it!" Ananara added sarcastically, wiggling his leaves as if that was supposed to be intimidating.

"Right, because when I think 'lethal weapon,' I think of a talking pineapple with delusions of grandeur," I shot back, narrowly dodging a swiping fist from the Fungal Golem.

Before I could counter, the ground beneath us rumbled ominously. The vibrations grew stronger until cracks began to spiderweb across the stone floor.

"Oh, no," I muttered, glancing around the room. "Tell me this isn't what I think it is."

[It's exactly what you think it is,] the system chimed in. [Brace yourself. You've got company.]

The cracks in the floor burst open, and from the gaps emerged a horde of smaller monsters, each resembling miniature versions of the Fungal Golem. Their glowing eyes flickered in unison as they shuffled toward us, their little clawed hands raised.

[Enemy Type: Mini Fungal Creepers

Level: 3-5

Stats:

Health: 100-200

Attack: 15-25

Defense: 10

Special Ability: Pack Swarm - Increases damage when attacking in groups.]

"A whole herd of them? Seriously?" I groaned, spinning my sword in a defensive arc. "Is this some kind of fungal family reunion?"

"Wonderful," Ananara sniffed. "More minions for me to conquer. Stand back, Liria—I'll crush them with my sheer charisma."

I ignored him, sidestepping as one of the Creepers lunged for my ankles. Its tiny claws grazed my boots before I brought my blade down in a sharp arc, slicing it clean in half. The creature let out a high-pitched screech before dissolving into a pile of ash.

[+50 EXP.]

"Well, at least they're squishy," I muttered.

Behind me, Ananara squawked indignantly as another Creeper tried to roll him off into a corner. "Unhand me, you chlorophyll-covered cretin!"

With a flick of my wrist, I launched a Fireball at the offending monster. It burst into flames, releasing a puff of glowing spores before crumbling into dust.

[+50 EXP. Random loot dropped: Broken Spoon.]

I stared at the object that had materialized in my inventory. "A broken spoon? Really? What am I supposed to do with that, dig my way out of here?"Nôv(el)B\\jnn

[Consider it a collectible,] the system quipped. [Or a sign of your luck.]

Meanwhile, the Creepers kept coming, their numbers multiplying faster than I could cut them down. Every time I took out two, four more seemed to take their place.

"Any bright ideas?" I called over my shoulder, parrying a swipe from a particularly aggressive Creeper.

"Yes," Ananara huffed. "Run. I'll heroically distract them while you escape."

"Oh, sure," I snapped, slashing through another pair of Creepers. "Because I'm going to abandon my sentient pineapple familiar to face an army of mushroom gremlins. That's a great plan."

The Fungal Golem, which had been watching the chaos with what I could only describe as fungal amusement, suddenly let out a bellowing roar. The Creepers paused mid-attack, their glowing eyes turning toward their larger counterpart.

[Boss Ability Activated: Rally Cry. All Creepers gain +10 Attack and Defense for the next 60 seconds.]

"Of course," I muttered. "Why wouldn't it have a buff skill?"

The Creepers charged in unison, their tiny claws glowing faintly with some kind of fungal magic. I barely had time to throw up a shield spell before they crashed into me like a tidal wave of rage and spores.

"System," I thought furiously. "Any advice before I become a fungal piñata?"

[You're doing fine,] it replied unhelpfully. [Just keep dodging.]

"Dodging isn't a strategy it's stalling!"

Despite my complaints, I managed to weave between the swarming Creepers, my blade flashing as I struck down one after another. The EXP notifications piled up in the corner of my vision, along with increasingly useless loot drops: a Cracked Teacup, a Torn Banner, and a Bent Nail.

"Are you kidding me?" I yelled as I kicked a Creeper into the wall. "Where's the epic loot? The rare drops? I'm risking my life here for junkyard trash!"

"Focus, Liria!" Ananara shouted, rolling away from another Creeper. "Or do you want me to save the day?"

I didn't dignify that with a response, opting instead to unleash Inferno Burst, my strongest fire spell. Flames erupted around me in a blazing arc, incinerating most of the Creepers instantly. The Fungal Golem let out an enraged roar, its hulking form stumbling back as the flames licked at its shell.

[+500 EXP. Random loot dropped: Moldy Shoe.]

"You've got to be kidding me," I groaned, kicking the shoe out of my way as the surviving Creepers regrouped.

The Fungal Golem stomped toward me, the ground shaking with each step. Its massive fists glowed faintly as it prepared to unleash another Spore Cloud.

"Any last words?" Ananara asked, his tone far too smug for someone who had done absolutely nothing to help.

"Yeah," I said, tightening my grip on my sword. "I'm going to shove you into that thing's mouth if this doesn't work."

Charging forward, I activated Hellstorm, summoning a vortex of flames that spiraled toward the Golem. The attack hit it square in the chest, engulfing it in a fiery inferno. For a moment, it seemed to waver, its form flickering as if it might collapse.

Then it let out one final roar and exploded into a shower of ash and glowing spores.

[+1500 EXP. Random loot dropped: Mystery Key.]

"Finally," I panted, picking up the key as the system chimed again.

[Congratulations! You've leveled up. New stats:

Strength: 41

Agility: 42

Endurance: 40

Magic: 51.]

"About time," I muttered, sliding the key into my pocket.

"Well done," Ananara said, sounding almost impressed. "Though I still think my plan would've been better."

"Keep talking," I warned. "See where it gets you."

Ananara wiggled his leaves dramatically, as if preparing to launch into another monologue. Before he could, the heavy stone door creaked open, revealing a vast chamber shrouded in an eerie, greenish glow. The air was thick with the stench of mildew and something metallic—blood, maybe?

"What is that smell?" Ananara groaned. "It's like someone tried to pickle despair."

The chamber's centerpiece was hard to miss: a massive figure stood in the center, its shadow stretching across the room like a dark omen.

[Warning: Boss Encounter Detected.]

The system's message flashed in my vision as stats appeared over the creature:

[Boss: Venomfang Reaper]

Level: 15

Health: 5000/5000

Attack: 120

Defense: 80

Special Abilities: Venom Blast, Regenerative Carapace, Death Lunge

It was grotesque, a hybrid of scorpion and lizard, with a segmented tail that glowed a sickly green and jagged, venom-coated pincers. Its eyes glowed like twin lanterns of malice, locked on us the moment we entered.

"Uh, system?" I asked nervously. "Options?"

[Option 1: Fight and probably die. Option 2: Run and live to regret your cowardice.]

"I vote for option two," Ananara whispered.

"For once, I agree with you," I muttered, slowly backing toward the door.